Where Do You Fit Now That The Rules Have Changed? (Ep. 164)
Over the past several years, nearly every major system has shifted: Work, Communication, Technology, Leadership, Medicine, Identity, Economics, Social Expectations - the list goes on.
We knew a shift was coming, and we waxed poetic about the need for systems and frameworks to help us adapt (in motion) as these changes came.
But today, despite “knowing” changes were upon us and our efforts to work harder while thinking, tracking and optimizing more - we still have a growing feeling that we are behind.
A common explanation is burnout - but that diagnosis doesn’t sit with me. Burnout is a result of being constantly behind - not the cause of it.
And the more I debate it with clients and in my own lunatic head, I find that there appears to be a misalignment inside an environment that changed faster than we adapted, and our beautiful assumptions and judgements no longer hold relevance, and, in fact, keep us back.
The Distinction
Artificial intelligence accelerated uncertainty. Career paths are less predictable. Stability is harder to define. And now, the pressure to perform has increased.
We are all constantly exposed to unsolicited life and work advice; an unending comparison to others and where we “should” be; a need to always optimize; a barrage of noise.
The result is a strange psychological tension - we are doing more than ever, with less peace and certainty.
Yes, we are all burned out. But we need to be intentional with understanding the causes. Could it be three-fold?
We are misaligned - executing behaviors that don’t align with who we say we are
We are optimizing in a system that doesn’t reward our old ways of optimization
We don’t know where we “stand” or “fit” in a new system, so we are clinging to the hold habits and identities that we are comfortable with
So, now, we are doing things that don’t make sense to our authentic selves, and so we create systems and look for routines and productivity hacks to make it easier. But optimization only works when the underlying environment is stable. Optimizing ourselves amid systems that no longer fit who we are or what we want creates busyness without clarity or progress.
Learning to Say “No”
I’ve always been a staunch believer in simplicity. But we need to define the word - it’s been co-opted as another word for minimalism, but I’d argue that misses the point.
Simplicity is eliminating distractions so you can focus on what actually matters.
Most of the assumptions we have should be shown the door, and this is true for everything: what we think leadership looks like, right on through to what a World Cup Ticket should cost. (hot take - pro sports and concerts have become not worth the headaches, trouble or cost).
In America, we haven’t had to say “no” before. But many are being forced to.
We are at an inflection point, where we can recognize that most things aren’t important to us. Rather than let an ever-changing system dictate what we have to say “no” to, we can dictate what really matters to us, and let go of the rest.
We don’t need to withdraw from the world, but we can start to forge our own way in it. This looks like fewer commitments, but higher intentionality. Clearer priorities. It doesn’t require a framework or structure - it requires decisions. And if we don’t decide what matters to us, some external system will decide for you.
We can all become more explicit - about who we are, what matters and what we no longer need in order to operate moving forward.
Yes, the environment has changed. And now the question becomes: will you adapt intentionally, or drift into whatever the system chooses for you?